Daylight
by SnazzBeast
Summary: Daylight is set in a paralell universe to Twilght in which Edward becomes the odd transvestite Tredward and Bella becomes the derranged lesbian Cella. It is genrally for the LOLs and please don't get offended by anything.
1. Chapter 1

THIS WAS FOR THE LOLS CHILL, CALM DOWN, AND DON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK OVER IT.

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In a paralell universe to Twilght...

**Daylight**

In a large sunny metropolis called Spoons lived a girl called Cella. She had very straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes and extremly tanned skin, and had just ended a lovely relationship with a girl called Jessica, but she had been a bit of a spaz and things went out badly- since Jessica's love making skills were not up to scratch - also Jessica always cried after sex and this made Cella uncomfortable.

She had moved to Spoons to live with her mother who was called Charlotte, because living in Eagles and seeing Jessica's lopsided, moley face everyday at school made Cella terribly sad.

On her first day at the school she was very nervous, but it was okay as her mother had bought her a tricycle so she wouldn't have to share the ambulance, which would be very embarrassing. The day went past in a blur. Everything they were taught she had learnt already. But one particular moment stood out: in the cafeteria she saw a band of elusive people sitting at a table on their own, all very beautiful apart from one who was a transvestite and had been isolated due to his mascara dripping down his cheeks. But the most beautiful and intriguing was a girl with long white hair everyone was freakishly tanned here but the strange group were the most tanned of all.

"Who are they?" she asked curiously to the table in general.

"They're the Bullens,"a girl with strikingly ginger hair said. Cella thought she was very hot but the girl seemed ugly compared to this magnificent unicorn girl that sat gracefully in the corner table. And her body!, she thought. Cella was very orgasmic. "They don't like anyone, or at least they don't like anyone enough to speak to them." The ginger girl said huffily obviously a case of sour strawberries Cella thought.

Cella stared, mesmerised. After lunch she had Physics, and the only seat left was sandwiched between the Unicorn-Girl and the transvestite!

"Hi," said the girl warmly, "I'm Caliss. And this is my brother Tredward."

Tredward seemed to lean away with his nostrils flared. Cella got a shiver down her spine, why could this strange, strange boy take such an intense dislike to her? Cella shrugged the feeling off, at least she was sitting next to this marvellous tanned could not help but look at the fantastic unicorn girl that sat beside 's eyes were a deep scorching gold, and whenever Cailis looked over at her to involve her in the lesson Cella would mumble her words and blush. She wanted nothing more than to touch her body like she had never touched a body before. The bell struck. Finally! Cella rushed out of the room. She began to slow as the tricycle lot came into view she took a deep breath then tricycled home.

That night as the rain heavily thundered down on the roof Cella lay curled up in a ball weeping gently into her pillow, she probably wasn't gay...


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"Are you going to the dance then Cella?" asked Tess. They were in the parking lot on an icy day, and Cella was putting snow chains on her tricycle.

"No I am going to TittleTattle" Cella said a little curtly , "I have some shopping to do,"

"Aww that sucks, why don't you go with Mike?"

Cella cringed internally; she didn't want to have to tell Tess that she was a lesbian. All those stares...she hadn't even told her own mother. "I just need to go shopping OKAY!"

Cella was still debating internally whether she sould ask Caliss to the dance when suddenly there she was on the other side of the parking lot. "Caliss, I love you," she wanted to call, but kept her mouth shut because Caliss – shock horror – might not be a lesbian like her.

Tess walked away, because she thought she might be late for Geography. Cella was still surreptitiously watching Caliss, so she was very surprised when a car span out of nowhere on the ice.

"Help!!" called Cella, terrified, because she didn't want to die before Caliss gave her a great big snog.

The car was still coming but all of a sudden it exploded BANG and someone was shielding her from the fire. It was Caliss!

"Are you alright, Cella?"

"Umm I think so but I might not be very soon, because the flamethrower you used to blow up that car is making a giant lorry fly towards me."

Caliss swore and shot loops of ice from her fingertips towards the truck, holding it in midair. Cella gasped, "What are you?"

"Im just a human ok?"

"LIES!"

"Just leave me alone, I don't want anything to do with you!"

Cella could feel the dishonesty and sexual tension behind those words, she rejoiced inside because she realised Calis wants to go where the sun doesn't shine!

In her surprise she fell over and hit her head very hard. The last thing she saw was Tredward kissing Casper passionately, and felt that fate was playing tricks on her... then she blacked out.

Later in her bed she woke up sweating from a graphic sex dream, and wished she had not left her Lust Fingers in sighed and searched for her toothbrush. At least this would do.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

"Do you wanna go to Ma mush?" asked Mike Poostink the next day. "Cos I think you're sexy hot and we could lose our virginity there."

"Im a lez you idiot! And plus ive already lost my virginity to lust fingers more than a hundred times,"

Mike smiled, "Well...lets have a threesome then you sexy beast of an anal grape!"

"Sorry, I'm a) recovering from a beautiful relationship and b) having sex dreams about Caliss Bullen. You just won't do, I bet you're a wanker anyway."

Mike's ego was terribly bruised " Humpf.I will just have to have hot steamy sex with Tess and Tredward...still your better looking than both of them..." he trailed off into sex fantasy land. Cella was feeling mean so she said,

"He's already in a relationship with his brother Casper. Besides, he won't know how to give you a blow job. Gay people are weird, like me."

"Waa?"

"You have the size of a brain as a pigmy squirrel, I will give you a blow job! My favourite flavour is chocolate. Be there 9 pm sharp i will even let you suck my nipples if you want. But be nice, and I hope you don't mind the occasional shudder – I am a lesbian, this won't be pleasant for me."

Cella walked out of the house she shivered at the thought of the thing she was about to do oh well she could pretend Mike was Caliss.

That evening she carefully applied makeup, waiting for Mike to appear. She put on her sexiest lace undies, the ones with nipple-holes. Then she sat back, watching the window.

Two hours passed and Mike did not come. Eventually she called him.

"Where are you? My lace bra's getting sweaty."

Mike's voice sounded as if he had something in his mouth. "Sorry Cella, I forgot to call. Tredward invited me over, he's getting bored of old Casper, and wants some excitement. I'm giving him an erection then fleeing to Rio de Janeiro. Bye!"

He hung decided to join another party. Many very, very pale people withy strawberry blonde hair sat in circle chatting and giving each other erections. Except the girls who had Lust Fingers with Added Orgasmic grip tm.Cella walked over to them then she had a fantastic idea – she could ring Calis and invite her. Cella had seen a vision of the two of them poking lubricated Lust Fingers within each other; she smiled and rang the number.

Caliss picked up, "Hi" she said, " who is this?"

"It's Cella Duck. I wondered if you wanted to go to Ma Mush with me today – I just bought some Lust Fingers, we could have a real fun time together. I want to start a relationship."

"Um, sorry, I don't go to sex beaches and I never Lust-Finger on the first date. But I could come to your house – I never go to Ma Mush anyway, the Bullens aren't welcome there."

"Why?" Cella asked curiously

"Oh it doesnt matter, meet you at your house in thirty minutes."


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the snazzy reviews! I thought absaloutely NO – ONE would look at them! Here is the next I am really sorry I did a couple of typos – I am such a retarded hypocryte! THERE MAY BE SOME STRONG LANGUAGE.

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Chapter 4

"God.... when the HELL is Caliss going to get here?!" Cella fumed angrily in the huge capacious room that she rested in. Cella tapped her foot impatiently, what was keeping Caliss so long? Cella noticed that Caliss wasn't your ordinary girl, her skin was hot... people seemed to shy away from her, and her sexy body.... Cella's eyes went back into her eyelids in one long moment of lust ridden pleasure... The ice from her fingertips, She must be a VAMPFAY! But just to check Cella slowly proceeded towards the sheek and beautiful computer that sat on her mohogany desk.

"I just can't go over to her house. I just can't, you know Tredward?"

"Nope, Nope I can't" curtly said Tredward as he carefully applicated some mascara.

"I am just so fucked up Tredward – falling in love with a human, SAVING her... I LOVE her Tredward, do you know what that means?"

"You say you are fucked up, ha. I am a bloody transvestite who is incestual with his vampfay brother. Shut up."

"I LOVE HER Tredward" Caliss moaned

"Fuck off and let me put my lippy on."

Cella smiled as the information she needed flashed up on screen of the shiny, new computer. "HA!" Screamed Cella like a raving banshdee on drugs, "I shall get thee now!"

That evening as Cella tricycled home in the drizzling rain she saw the strange pale skinned strawberry blonde it came back to her, her mother had mentioned that she bought the tricycle from a boy who looked just like the boy who was strolling down the grey street and seemed in no hurry to get out of the forever heavying rain, he spoke " Hi, my name is Yaycob, your mum brought the trike' from me!"

Yacob was perving on poor lesbian Cella. "Do you want to come to my house and you know???" His sentence was full of implacations.

"No you... you... freaking Strawberry molester!"As the rain poured unrelentlessley down on Cella's bright blonde hair when she was tricyling home tears fell limply from out of her squinting eyes like a river with not much boost.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Cella was sleeping peacefully, entertained by another vivid sex dream. Suddenly strong hands were shaking her awake.

"You're so hot, you bitch!" shouted Yaycob in her face. "I'm kidnapping you!"

Cella screamed. Charlotte came running but by the time she reached the room the window was open and the curtains flapping. All that was left was the rumpled sheets and a single Lust Finger...

Caliss awoke, she could feel in her gut that Cella was unsafe…what should she do? After a lengthy session of lust fingering- to calm her feelings down she went into her brothers a horrorfing sight met her eyes…

"Why must you insist on doing that TWICE a night?" Tredward was bent down and Casper was remarakably close to Tredwar, he let out a muffled reply, "I dunno"

"Cella is gone. And I need your help."

Cella awoke again with a start. Her head felt muzzy... had she been drugged? The last thing she could remember was the lust-finger before she slept... and had there been a dream?

She was about to engage in a pleasant memory when a hand grabbed her and she suddenly remembered being kidnapped by Yaycob.

"Heelp!!" she screamed, but Yaycob clapped his hand over her mouth.

"HOW DARE YOU USE LUSTFINGERS WHEN MY SEXY PENIS IS AROUND???" he screamed.

Cella knew he had looked like a molester! But she had to play it coolio.

"Oh, Yaycob, I thought you were too good for me," she sighed dramatically. A wide grin spread over his face. He began to advance. "Well, I wasn't, hot chick. Just don't do it again and we can have a beautiful relationship."

"Um... y-yeah," stammered Cella. She didn't want a relationship with Yaycob!

Suddenly, there was a chink of light. They were in a garage, and the door was opening. Soon a silhouette stood in the doorway. Cella's heart stopped. Could it be Caliss??

"Leave her alone," said a familiar voice.... Cella saw the outline of a skirt. The figure stepped into her vision, and there of course was the dripping mascara she had known she would see.

Tredward Bullen had come to save her?

"OMG! How did you do that Tredward?" Cella laughed as Tredward flew her back to the Bullens house

"Oh yeah…that…" Rose tinted Tredwards usually white cheeks – he was embaressed and in one swooping moment he realised he was falling in love with Cella.

They juddered to a halt infront of the darkly shiloutted un - grandure which was the Bullens un- amazing house (it was very boring and normal).Caliss, Jarlise and Yesme and Charlotte were standing outside the house, As Cella ran forwards to passionatley snog Caliss Charlotte gasped and a new feeling sprung up like a runner on crack on Tredwards mind – jealousy.

That night Tredward weeped as the rain fell on the house.


End file.
